Achieving Happiness

July 7, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — Ina Alleco @ 6:15 am

2009-06-26-Michael_Jackson_1971_got_to_be_thereSo I thought I wouldn’t mourn for you, or at least not show any signs of sadness.  I was very sad, sure, when I heard about your sudden death. It was a shock, and it seemed that the world stopped for a few seconds; but everyone else was grieving, and there was –is– more than enough grieving over your loss that my own grief wouldn’t make any difference.

Oh but now that they’re fighting over your estate, and your children facing an uncertain future (not knowing who will take care of them, now that their best playmate, protector and  father has gone), and there are still the unkind reports of how you were such a major whack job, I can’t help but cry. You were music and poetry and art personified whenever you sang and danced; watching you move across the stage was breathtaking, and it was always a source  of awe and sheer delight to see you perform.  It was like seeing the sunlight sparkling on moving water. And now tmichael_jackson_king_of_pophat you’re gone, it not likely that there will ever be anyone like you again.

Perhaps the most painful thing about your passing is that you died without feeling that you were loved.  Despite the millions of fans all over the world, despite the public adoration even in the face of the most vicious, malicious attacks against you and your innocent motives, you felt unloved and unnaccepted. How else could your misguided acts of altering your face and skin color be interpreted but a deep insecurity, a tragic lack of self-acceptance and love?

You gave so much to the world with your music and your poetry; the messages in your songs, the artistry of your dance; but probably you asked yourself why did you get so little in return? Oh not the money (you had a lot of that; you lost a lot as well, but in the end you still could never be called poor); but the genuine happiness that comes to people when they know that they are loved despite everything and maybe even because of their little flaws. You were imperfect just like everyone else; but your humanity was a little closer to perfection more than so many others’ because of your kindness, your gentleness, your humble wish to make the world a better place with your music.

You shouldn’t have changed who you were on the outside. You were already so beautiful.

You should have, however, changed who you were on the inside. You should’ve not let yourself be beaten down by the cruelty of others; you have have learned to trust more in the people who did really love you and told them of the gaping loneliness and isolation you often felt; you should’ve learned to be stronger without the drugs, the medication– if not for yourself , then for your children.

Oh good-bye to the little boy who never grew up! Good-bye to the man who was always young! The world was often unkind to you even as it held you high; but you should not have given in and instead you should’ve fought back– in a way that echoed the graceful strength of your songs and the the energy of your dance. How I wanted you to fight back when they were attacking you! How I wanted you to grow indignant and angry and disgusted with the greed, selfishness and malice of others! You should’ve been more confident that the rest of the world did not hold you in contempt, and there was a wealth of belief in your innocence.

But now it’s too late. And you, gentle, gentle soul, have gone much, much too soon. Thank you so much for the music, thank you for the art.  May you find happiness wherever it is you are now.



  1. […] parangal ni Ina Silverio-Gargar kay Michael […]

    Pingback by Payag ka ba sa Palit-ulo? « Kapirasong Kritika — July 22, 2009 @ 3:32 am

  2. Hello, In searching for information on the timeless painting of Michael Jackson by Andy Warhol I came across your letter to Michael. I found it beautiful, sad and with harsh truths. I am a huge Michael Jackson fan, and have been since he was a child. I admired your letter as it speaks of Michael, and who he really was. At the time of his death, yes the world seemed to have stopped. The tears keep flowing for the loss and the love of Michael Jackson, and the ugly hatred for him is still hear. His children are fatherless, his mother suffers deeply for the loss of her son. His brothers and sisters have to live without their magical and beautiful brother. Your letter was kind and heart wrenching and with real love. For my comment, I want to say these things. I believe that if we walked in Michael’s very shoes that we may have fallen subject to his same demise. I cannot and do not accept or believe how some have spoken and still speak of him with such ignorance and malice. So, in Michael’s defense I want to say that I may have and most likely would have changed the look of my face. Yes, after being ridiculed by others including by the cruel judgement of my own siblings and father, burnt on the set of the Pepsi commercial, suffered from the disease of skin vitiligo, Yes, I would have changed my face and had hair grafts. I would have weakened to where the only thing that kept me alive was my love for the innocence and beauty of my children and the worlds children and the magic of dance and song and art. The compassion for our earth and wondrous universe. If I walked in Michael’s very shoes, with all of his creative energy and love and humiliation and constant criticism, I would have used occasional sleeping aids to settle my thought process at the days end so that I could get up the next day and start all over again, and fight against all odds, threats and for the LOVE. If I walked in Michael’s very shoes, I would have at times succumb to the memories of a demanding and abusive childhood…a childhood where I dreamed of playing out in the sun with friends from school and having a peaceful and fruitful childhood…having a childhood. If I walked in Michael Joseph Jackson’s shoes, Yes, I would have faltered, shown the world my insecurities to all who would look gawk and of course judge. I would have struggled, cried, been judged with the insanity of hatred around me. Most of all I would have loved, danced, sing, wrote wonderful poetry, music stories and letters of love, drew art of beauty just as he did. So much he wrote, music and dance we will never see. Most of all I would have shown the world my LOVE just as he did. I would have been just like Michael. For Michael, as we who loved you and will forever miss you, we would have not changed you for anything. What we who love you tried to change is how you were mistreated by others. You were like a magical dream on earth. You were a breath of fresh air. You were what love means. You kept the light of humor in darkness. You were vision when it seemed the world had no vision left. Your gifts will forever be in our world. Your gifts to us will keep giving. We who love you and for those who will love you in the future will fight for you Michael. Always. Thank you Michael Jackson for who you were and who you will always be. With love…forever and ever, Leslie Karen Mercer

    Comment by Leslie Mercer — December 27, 2009 @ 6:17 pm

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